What we don’t like in others is what we don’t like in ourself.
When we find ourself irritated by the behavior of someone, like fingernails on a chalkboard irritated, an opportunity for healing and growth has presented itself.
The first step is to identify the behavior. Is it, selfish, critical, arrogant, greedy, mean, judgmental, neediness, chauvinistic, disrespectful or something else?
The second step is to ask our self, when have I been selfish, critical or ……..?
A good test around a behavior that you may still have guilt or past hurts around, is to imagine the worst thing anyone could say about you; then imagine opening up the newspaper and seeing your face with that word or words. What would it say?
Here is an example from a retreat participant: the characteristic that really got her in the gut was someone killing a child. Of course it’s natural for all of us to have feelings around this, but her feelings around this was deeper than most and she knew it. She just could not get her head around the idea that she had anything in common with someone who killed a child.
After sleeping on it, she realized that she had not forgiven herself for having an abortion. wow!
Everybody and every experience is an opportunity for growth. As we choose to acknowledge our similarities and connectedness, we become more accepting and appreciative of ourself and others.
So if I am irritated by critical people, I “get” to Love them, and in doing so I accept the critic inside of me. I am naturally less critical when I am being loving to myself and others. We can love the person and our self without loving the behavior. As we become aware of our irritating behaviors, we can choose to change the thoughts that are creating them.
We can’t see a trait in someone else unless we have it in ourself. That also includes the good stuff. When we admire a quality in someone else, we also have that quality.
Today, I pray, we appreciate the fact that we are all created by the same Creator, we are all Divinely made.
And so it is!
blessings & love,
Until next time, BE radiant, radical & real!
LifeCoachDJ.com