we teach people how to treat us

If we are not being treated well, it is useless to blame someone else. Our behavior is the only behavior we have management of. We teach people how to treat us, by treating ourselves with dignity and respect. That means loving ourselves enough to say “no” or by setting a boundary. Why would we think that others would treat us any differently than we treat ourselves?

Some of us did not learn how to stand up for ourselves, because we were born into a generation where children were expected to be seen, not heard. In my family there were seven children. It would have taken a lot of patience to listen to all of us. I understand that now, but as a child growing up, I didn’t feel heard and I certainly didn’t know how to effectively communicate my feelings. I didn’t realize until much later, that my sense of not being heard turned into feelings of not feeling worthy.

Effective communication is learning to be proactive in any situation instead of reactive. In order to communicate effectively, we have to get real about how we feel and what it is we want, this is no small task.

When we know what our heart really wants, we can communicate more effectively. We thrive in healthy relationships based on mutual love and respect. Effective communication based in love creates intimacy in all of our relationships.

Today I pray that we choose proactive, assertive, loving communication so that we make a difference in our lives and the lives of others, making each conversation sacred.