Monday, July 18, 2011

I took this picture on my Bali trip – as I was thumbing through my pictures – it slapped me in the face. I look at it now & what it represents to me is – my mother on one side of me with her thoughts and idea & my dad on the other side with his. Growing up I didn’t really “get” who my parents were – it was a time when people didn’t talk openly about their “feelings”. Some people still don’t. Even though they didn’t really argue or fight in front of us kids – I could certainly feel when there was a wall between them, never knowing what it was about. So, I started building my own wall between myself and others – every time someone hurt my feelings or I didn’t feel loved – up went a brick! This did not happen on a conscious level. I always considered myself a very open and loving person.

After lots of effort to be the best me – I came to realize that I was allowing people or circumstances to determine my level of happiness – making me a victim to people and circumstances, what Caroline Myss calls “woundology” – connecting with others over our wounds. Think about it – how many times have we complained to others about – our children, boss, co-workers, parents, house, in-laws, workmen, and of course our significant other or the lack there of. We whine all the time, without any thought given to it at all.

I have come to realize that building a wall of resentment, disappointment, anger, frustration – which is all about fear – is not hard. The hard part is acknowledging the wall and tearing it down. After spending so much time building the wall – I forgot what it was like not having a wall. I was afraid that if I took that wall down – who would I be – I wasn’t happy  – but shoot the unknown was big time scary to me. I didn’t know who I would be without the wall – an uncomfortable, comfort zone.
That’s why the motorcycle is there – to take off from all the past – to “give up” who I thought I was – to surrender to my Highest Self – so that I can be who I was created to be.

Today I pray that we “let go” anything from the past that doesn’t serve us – so that we can step into who we “really are”.

blessings & love,

Until next time, be Radiant, Radical, & Real!