Friday, February 4, 2011

I love snow!

I love that the snowflakes seem to be going in different directions – some even seem to drift up – what a magical dance!

At times there are strong flurries of a group that push through the dance.They give the moment a different energy.

What kind of energy do you want to have?

I spent much of my life drifting, letting life just happen to me – just living a mediocre life, always feeling like there had to be more – yet not knowing how or where to find it.

For the longest time, I blamed my husband. It was his fault I wasn’t happy. He was not making me feel complete. He was not loving me “good enough”.

Well……after years of self examination – a life changing accident – self help programs – self help books & tapes.

I FINALLY, YES FINALLY REALIZED MY LIFE WAS ALL UP TO ME. I GET TO CHOOSE HOW I DANCE THROUGH MY LIFE. If I forfeit my choice – someone or circumstances will take over – which is how I had previously lived my life. I was like a pin ball – bouncing off other people & situations – what they wanted, needed, or expected. I didn’t really know who I was, I was so busy trying to be what/who I thought everyone else needed or wanted me to be.

That reality was certainly an ah ha moment for me.

Do you know what is even more upsetting than realizing that you have lived your life trying to please others? Realizing that you don’t know who you REALLY ARE!

I was afraid that if I gave up all the masks that I had spent my entire life creating – wife, mother, sister, daughter, social person, community member, church goer etc….. – WHO WOULD I BE?

I now KNOW at the core of WHO I AM – that I am a part of Spirit, wondrously made – I am Radiant, Radical, & Real!

I commit my life to growing that REALITY in myself and others daily.

Blessings and love,