Thursday, July 14, 2011

Why do we make relationships so hard?

Because until we know better, we can’t do better. We mirror behavior that we have learned from a parent or someone else significant in our life, usually the behavior that we didn’t like growing up – but with a new twist, so it doesn’t look the same. Like I’m not going to be controlling the way my dad was, so I end up being controlling in a different way. I didn’t even get it until I realized that not wanting someone else to be controlling is “being controlling”.

And if I spotted it – that’s right – it means I must have it in myself (see spot it you got it).

Relationships are not easy that is for sure. So how do you teach someone how to treat you? With love and with boundaries (not walls, boundaries). Sharing how you really feel, which may feel like eating dirt. Treating them how you want to be treated. The most important element in any relationship is productive, proactive communication. When you grow up in a generation where children are to be seen and not heard, in other words, without a voice, I didn’t know what real communication looked like. It has taken me years to understand what it is that I truly want to communicate in the first place. In other words, who am I, and what am I really about.

Today, I can say that I am the best me that I have ever been. I pray that today, you are the best you.

blessings & love,

Until next time, be Radiant, Radical, & Real!