We all live in the HOOD – Victimhood that is.
Let’s face it, someone has done us wrong.
Do we hold on to it or do we let it go?
Obviously, some things are certainly easier to let go of than others. Someone criticizing us at the office versus a spouse having an affair, or being physically abusive.
Victimhood can be a way of connecting with others. I think I can safely say that we have all had conversations in which someone says something like, “I can’t believe that Sam didn’t give me any credit for closing so many sales last month.” And one might respond something like, “Do you know what he did to me, he was sharing some statistics that I gave to him in a meeting last week and took all of the credit for my hard work.”
We can also connect with deeper victimhood stories like being raised by an alcoholic parent or experiencing sexual abuse, rape or a tragic loss.
As frustrating as it may be, we are the only ones that continue to suffer when we hold on to victimhood. The perpetrator of the act has probably moved on and hasn’t give it any further thought or energy.
I am not saying that what the other person did was ok. I am saying that they are probably not carrying it around with them, the way we carry around our victimhood.
When we hold on to past hurts, mistreatments and betrayals, we are the ones bringing the past pains into the present moment with resentment and anger.
The only way that I have found to truly let go of victimhood is through Forgiveness.
Statistics show, people who hurt others, are people who have been hurt.
Forgiveness and letting go is not saying that what the other person did was ok. Forgiveness is “choosing” not to carry around the pain, anger or resentment anymore. What someone did was about them not about us. Did it effect us, probably, but how long does it have to keep affecting us? Most of the time, that is up to us.
Let’s use a tragic example; Susan lost her daughter Kem in a car accident, in which a drunk driver was responsible. Of course this affected Susans life. She had lots of emotions and the grief process to go through, of which took time.
Susan could spend the rest of her life feeling like a victim to this tragic accident, feeling pain and anger every day for the rest of her life. Or, Susan could choose to live a joyful life, with a heart full of love and compassion.
What do you think Kem would want for her?
This Forgiveness Exercise can be helpful in letting go of past pains.
I hope you check it out.
Until next time BE Radiant, Radical & Real,
blessings & love,